A eulogy for Richard D. Cain

 

Life presents each of us with unique set of people and choices. If we are to be defined by our decisions and relationships, then I would like to suggest these three words define Rich Cain. REAL, GENUINE, and DEDICATION.

According to Marrium-Webster, a synonym the word REAL is defined as “having an objective independent existence”

As some of you are aware, years ago in the 1990’s, my father and I shared the same employer Sears and Roebuck. Dad sold plumbing and heating, and I worked in visual merchandising. Often out of pure convenience the two of us would meet and share a coffee break or lunch. One afternoon I called him on the house phone, I told him I was taking a break. His immediate reply was that I had got my break when I got the job. I laughed and said  I’m going out into the mall to get my ear pierced, you want to come with, I’ll treat? His reply, just as quick “see you in a minute”. And so it was on that day that the two of us took coffee break, went out into the mall and got our ear pierced at the Clairs boutique. Not surprisingly our conservative employer gave dad a lot of flack for this new choice of jewelry. And true to who he was he kept that little diamond in his ear despite the protests of those who paid his wages. Rich was never one to be afraid to share a REAL moment with someone he loved.

 The American heritage dictionary says the word GENUINE is defined as: “Not spurious or counterfeit; authentic”

Again at Sears, one afternoon as I made my rounds through the 286,00 square feet of retail selling space, I ran square into one of the many sales managers. He had seen me and purposefully stopped me. What happened next was a little surreal. This manager second to only the store manager and had a bit more clout than the others. And to be honest, he was not my favorite person. I thought him to be a bit of a pompous villain. However I was polite as he stood before me. Looking me straight into my eyes and began to speak, saying: Scott, your dad, then he paused, hesitated, and pursed his lips. He looked off into nowhere, and then looked me back in my eyes, continued “your dad is the most GENUINE person I have ever met”. Then as quickly as our conversation had started he turned his head downward as if in deep thought and strolled away with out saying another word. I can only imagine what had transpired between the two of them. But I am confident that his carefully chosen word “GENUINE” was not a compliment. In my mind however, I knew it was. Because as we all know, when Rich decided to talk it was very real. His words were always honest and sincere.

Finally Marrium-Webster defines  DEDICATION as, self-sacrificing devotion and loyalty

In the ninth grade as I exited the pool locker room, I found myself face to face with my grandma and grandpa Cain. They were there waiting for me. I had expected to walk home alone that day. And although I had not seen either of them in many years I immediately recognized who they were. They had a solemn look on their faces. Dad was in the hospital. He’d had a heart attack. He was only 40 years old. For the next 38 years, I marveled at how and why he kept going. Dad's how and why was never a question. I knew him the way you and I both know him. My marvel was how he continued to be there for us no matter his suffering. DEDICATION for us was why He endured. Rich always knew when his people needed him. He was there for them. I was privileged to see this in his character time and again. I watched him for years when he would drive two hours out of his way each week to spend time with his daughter. I saw him after I moved away when he took the roll as father figure to three new children James, Justin, and Jenna when he married Susan. And then late in his years I was again witness to him as he assumed the role as father figure once more to his grand children Logan and Lilly. He was with out a doubt a dedicated dad to many of us.

Richard Daniel Cain, was REAL for each of us without hesitation. He proved himself GENUINE in the hearts friends and villains alike. He was DEDICATED in his entirety to each one of us. I know I am not alone as I miss him. Here in this room amongst those loved I am grateful for his many choices.