David, Dad

 

Photo credit: Scott Cain "Bedroom at Mom's"

Today I drove home. My mom had found David’s suicide note moments before I left, so my departure was quite emotional. The drive was mostly uneventful. I only became infuriated once when one really awful pickup truck driver cut me off east of Midland. I kept my cool and let him go. No need for two assholes in the world. When I got home, my dogs and daughter greeted me. I was adored much with love from all three. My wife also said hello from her recliner and continued to watch TV. After a while my son came out of his room and sat next to me on the couch. We both talked and I imbibed a rum drink to cool my mind after driving for 6 hours. For my wife’s amusement I told her all the gory details of my Dads death.  She seemed to enjoy the conversation. Then I made dinner for my son and myself. After eating I washed our dishes and put away my luggage. Then I laid for a moment in my bed.  It was dark, I was home, and I felt very alone. The kids were in their rooms talking to friends, my wife watched more TV shows in the living room, and I sat by myself in the dark. Nothing unusual for a Saturday night, it was what it was. Inside I knew there is much to be grateful for, even when you don’t feel it. I texted a friend and went to bed.