The Happy Hour

Five O’clock. Happy hour, or maybe the witches hour? I don’t know what it is with this time of day that vexes me so. In actuality it’s not an exact time time of day that gets me. It would be more accurate to define this time of day as the transition period between the days work and the evening meal. Regardless, it is this point of the day which I find most troublesome when working on abstinence. Seriously ninety nine precent of the time I have either indifference or a solid no desire to participate in booze consumption. But in the evening after I have put down my day’s work, and I am transitioning to new activities before the evening meal meal. I find that this is the moment when I am in high desire to have a drink. 

A typical day looks like this. I am packing up my day to to go home, and I start to think of how much I am looking forward to having a beverage. While I am driving home, I am also thinking of how much I am looking forward to drinks. Then when I get home, my wife dogs and kids are there and happy to see me. I am also happy to see them, but I am also usually tired, and a little indifferent to life in general. I am just done with my day’s efforts, and I need a rest. My wife is typically already relaxing with her evening cocktail. 

Now if I am NOT abstaining, then for-sure I am going to have a few and relax. However, when I am on some crusade to abstain, this is when I feel most overwhelmed by my desire to participate in the happy hour. If it’s a Friday, then quadruple these feelings and emotions. 

Dinner. For what ever reason, I am fixated on the idea that nothing pairs better with my evening meal than a glass of something with alcohol in it. One is usually enough with the meal, but typically I have already had one or two. which is how I find my self in three or four land.

Now for the most part, I can function well on this diet. And I am good about wrapping things up after the third or fourth drink, unless it’s Friday, or a party. But this this life style bungles my life in other ways that I do not find desirable. 

First, cocktails add to my overall feeling of exhaustion. After drinks I find it a struggle to begin or complete evening tasks. Sitting infant the TV watching a show I don’t even care for is what happens.

Second, now that I am rapidly approaching fifty, my body is giving my little hints about it’s displeasure at my behavior. Like heartburn after lunch, and a annoying rash on my forehead. Neither of which are a thing if I am abstaining. 

Third, grouchiness. It’s funny that no matter if I am or am not participating in the drink I am always a little crabby, and even more so the older I get. But there are some subtle differences. If I am abstaining, then I find the majority of my feelings of crabbiness are in the evening before the dinner dishes are cleaned up. Conversely, if I am NOT abstaining, then my crabbiness begins soon after I wake and lasts until mid afternoon, or until the happy hour. Neither scenario is absolute, but the generalizations are noticeable. 

Fourth, is sleep. I know that it is typical for sleep patterns to degrade with age, and that regardless if I am on or off my wagon, my sleep is not amazing. But there is a big difference. When I do consume, my ability to fall asleep is very high. When I don’t it takes longer, sometimes giving me a chance to read or write before bed (an activity I very much look forward to and enjoy). Waking up in the night, also has big differences. When I drink, I will wake up and then find it very difficult to fall back to sleep. If I go to bed dry, I will wake, but then find it easy to fall back to sleep. Funny thing about the two scenarios is that when I wake on a drinking night, I find my mind racing, and full of repeating music and voices. When I awake on a night of abstinence, I am calm. The music the voices are still there, but they are easy to quite. 

Finally five, waking. If I have been drinking the night before I always wake up early tired and wanting more sleep, but knowing I will not be able to accomplish this, so I am compelled to get up (yuck). Conversely if there is no drink, then I do not wake so easily, and when I do it is a struggle to get out of bed. Annoying, but certainly happy. If it had been a booze sleep, then I am wake but deeply annoyed with my self. So starts my day.

Photo credit: Scott Cain