Waiting for the sun

And then back to one. This past week of pandemic and personal life drama had me emotionally drained. Such was the case last Friday when I broke my own rule and indulged in alcohol. The thing is, I am happy to be stuck in my house, but I know it’s only a trap of my own will to be alone. It is not typical of me to seek social interaction even when I need it. Somehow the boozy lowering of inhibitions has for many years been my emergency release button. No doubt this is only a peek at the complex equation that represents my relationship with the drink. By 11am Friday I had determined I needed it, despite the fact my intellect didn't. Despite this I am grateful that I do not feel I am as deep into the well of addiction as many others around me. And fear not I am still determined to get back onto the horse and continue to seek the waterfall I desire. Albeit bruised and dirty once again.

Photo credit: Scott Cain